Showing posts with label Blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blog. Show all posts

Saturday, 11 January 2014

The Australian Spin

Hello again.
I have a bee under my hat and it's name is bullshit.
Let me now clarify. I really, really, really hate it, when unskilled people try to spin crap. What makes it worse is when the general public believes that crap. Without trying to sound big-headed, I am a very good spin doctor and can smell when someone is spinning garbage (called "Spin Spotting"). I myself, never lie when putting a good spin on something that would normally be seen as bad. It's not good policy to lie, because invariably, someone will catch you out. So don't. If you absolutely must, make it very small and easily hidden. Every day now, I seem to be bombarded with bad or non-existent spin doctoring. Everything from Politicians and public servants to companies and private individuals. Everyone seems to be writing their own lines, and they stink.

SPIN ME A RAINBOW
Now. Spinning a yarn (as we say here in Australia) is as old as the hills. Some are good at it and some suck. The mark of a really good yarn is to keep as much truth in it as possible. Keep your embellishments small. Really small. That way, if someone picks on a particular point you can usually step around the spin and direct the focus onto the truth. But what is a Spin Doctor? Well. A spin doctor is a type of PR agent. Most PR agents though, are terrible at spin, and most spinners are terrible at true PR. If you can find someone who can do both and do them well, you have a real jewel on your hands. Most people link spin doctors to Politicians, but the truth of the matter is that most politicians are egomaniac lawyers and think they can handle their own spin. It's just not true, no matter how much they lie to themselves. Some don't even have a PR rep, which is just plain stupid. A lot of good spinners are tied to companies, major corporations and the like. They handle anything from stockholders meetings to the latest oil spill. Big tobacco had many good spinners, but almost all have left that sinking ship. Spinners now play a bigger role in marketing and advertising than ever before. The ability to write good copy is an aspect of spin.

There are various types of spin or techniques that you can use. They are -

  • Using a particular phrasing that assumes unproven truths
  • The non-denial denial or non-apology apology
  • The delay (just don't wait too long)
  • You can avoid the question completely or bury the bad news (not good methods)
  • Claim that mistakes were made (the pity factor sometimes works)
  • Use misdirection and/or diversion (useful for illusionists)
  • And finally, cherry picking (only the good ones)
There are various ways to spin a yarn but I will start with my favorites. 'Cherry Picking' - It's just picking the best pieces of a story and leaving the rest. Simple. Not really useful on it's own but when incorporated with say, 'Misdirection', it becomes very sneaky. So you get "Sadly, look at what the opposition are doing. Oh! Here's a balloon! isn't that pretty?". See what I mean? 'The Delay' is useful if you know you have some good news coming up that will overshadow the bad news when you release them at the same time. Also if you have a balls-up too big to completely cover, you could use the 'Mistakes Were Made' ploy. If it's seen that you are being honest, even if it's only a small bit of earnestness, you can sometimes generate pity which can be stored like money in the bank. I think you know enough about technique, let's move on.


POLITICAL SPIN
One thing I don't agree with is the use of Spin Doctors to create smear campaigns. I feel sullied by it. In the last election, the LNP spinners went nuts with it. I saw right through it all, but was constantly amazed at the way the general public lapped it up like an obedient mutt. On the other side, I watched the ALP spinners floundering in a vast sea of muck which eventually went right over their collective heads and drowned the lot of them.
Something I was told in marketing at college, the very first thing actually, was never shitcan the opposition. You should always open with "They're good, but WE are a gazillion times better." That should always be your starting point whenever you begin a campaign. If, however, your opponent opens with "They suck the blood from small children and kidnap old people forcing them into labor camps", all bets are off and you can start writing a campaign that will make people too scared to go with the other camp.

SCARY SPIN
Fear. A powerful weapon in a spin doctors hands. It can be used in many ways, but I warn you now, karma will bite you on the arse if you use it unwisely. Fear was employed in the last Australian Federal Election, it was not used well or intelligently. Oh yes, it achieved it's goal of getting LNP into power, but in the long term you just can't sustain the fear. When that happens, people eventually look under the bed and discover that there was no boogy man after all. Then you're in trouble. If you can't devise a way to move from the fear to a positive response seamlessly, you are fucked. In the end, people will resent the fact that you made them afraid of nothing and will lynch you at the next opportunity. So. I say again. Use fear wisely, use it sparingly, and above all, use it intelligently.

I'm all typed out for now. I may come back to this subject at a later time. But then again, I may not. If you want to be a spin doctor, I say good luck to you. It's a minefield out there, one wrong step and KABLAM your career is over and you'll be flipping burgers at Macca's. To all you smiling shit-eaters out there I say, keep smiling.
But don't forget to clean your teeth!

Who loves ya' baby?
Dr Guy.

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Can you help me write up my ideas?

Picture the scene: I open an email, supposedly forwarded through professional circles. Imagine my surprise when upon perusal of said email, I find that it's from a nobody who wants to break into film and television as a creator. The gist of it was this; "I have lots of ideas that I want to put into script format. I have no writing skills. I cannot even spell PROPLY. I cannot pay you anything but, when the films are produced you may have a percentage. Yours sincerely, Com Plete Moron."

Now, can anyone tell me what is wrong with this picture? Hmmm? It never ceases to amaze me that some people can be so blatantly stupid. I have so many great ideas of my own that will probably never be produced, and here's some random wanker wanting me to spend weeks writing his up for free.

Add to all this the added insult from the person who forwarded the email to me with the message "Thought this might be up your street". I rang them thinking it was a joke. Apparently not. They were serious, and so with a hearty "FUCK YOU TOO", I hung up and deleted them from my world.

I did email the guy who wanted free script writing services, and suggested a couple of creative writing courses in his area. Also the book 'Creative Writing for Dummies' is a good standby. I don't mean to be insulting but facts is facts. If you can't write, go back to school.

It brings to mind a screenplay I wrote some eight years ago. During its six year development it went through six drafts, three final edits, a professional script adviser who recommended even more changes to scenes and plot. After all that it was finally REJECTED by the producer as "not his sort of film".

So. If anyone asks you to "help me write up my ideas for free". You may use my standard response and reply "Go To Hell!"

Sayonara, Suckers.

Monday, 21 March 2011

To kick it off.

What can a Tow Truck Driver possibly have to say?
I ask myself the same question every day. Fortunately I am not always and have not always been, a tow truck driver. I have alot to say and feel that everyone is entitled to my opinion. The question that remains is whether anyone is really interested in anything I have to say. Time will tell.

Today is Monday. Not a real good day for observations as it is a very hectic time of the week. My work week starts on Saturday and goes through to Wednesday so Monday is actually my hump day. I travel approximately 200 kilometers driving around brisbane on any given day, so i see a whole heap of wierd, wonderful and sometimes freakish stuff.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have or just leave a comment. I love a good roasting too so go ahead and flame me if that is your desire. (You will anyway, with or without my permission).

I hope I can achieve some of my goals for this blog, one of which is not to turn it into a ranting page about the somewhat bizarre and ofttimes stupid behaviour of the Quensland branch of Idiot Drivers Inc. I'll also try not to burn your eyes with the vitriol I feel for the Lycra Clad Loosers on Bicycles Club. Even though I wish they would all just ride off a very high cliff somewhere far away.

That's about all for this introductory post. A little scattered, sorry, but still coherent I think.

Cop you later, The Tow Truck Guy.