How's My Driving?

Wow. Where do I start? I suppose I'll just have to get straight to the point. Queensland drivers are the worst I've ever encountered. I have been driving professionally (off and on) for about 20 years, and have done so in every state in Australia. In that time I've seen some pretty bad drivers doing some real bonehead things. Most Queensland drivers behave that way all the time. Examples? OK.

1. Roundabouts - If they think they can make it through they just go for it, without indicating or incorrect use of indicators. They never give way to the right if they can help it.
2. Traffic Lights - Amber means floor it. Red is just a slightly darker Amber.
3. Courtesy - Nonexistant. Make sure you get as close to the car in front so that asshole in the merging lane can't get in. Right? Nope, wrong again.
4. Common Sense - None. Cutting in front of that truck just before the red light you're stopping at is not a clever thing to do. Your rear number plate won't look good embedded into the back of your head.
5. Commodores - If you own a Holden Commodore you have made it to the top of the Fuckwit pile. Queensland Commodore drivers are the very worst in the universe. Especially 'P' platers.
6. Unroadworthy cars - I have never seen so many crapboxes on the road except in Queensland. Bald tires, fucked shocks, rust holes you can put your hand through, oil dripping constantly from the engine. smoke pouring out the exhaust. Just to name a few. Pathetic.
7. Speeding - Everyone in Queensland breaks the speed limit. The only exeptions to the rule are, if they see a speed camera ahead, if there's a cop car in the vicinity or school zones (because of the speed cameras that may be lurking).
8. Texting - This is mainly young women doing this but I have seen some guys doing it too. Braindead morons.
9. Loud Music - Make sure that everyone within a five mile radius can hear what crap taste you have in music. Also good for drowning out the sound of those annoying emergency vehicle sirens.
10. (Last but not least) Oversize Cars (e.g.4x4's) - These bloated, overweight heaps of garbage shouldn't be allowed out of the caryards. But I suppose the bloated, overweight owners of these four wheeled dinosaurs just can't fit into a normal car. The fact that they are bigger than the other road users doesn't give them the right to drive like a complete prick though.

And there you have it, my slightly abridged Queensland bad driver checklist. I could have gone on at length and given entire pages to each one, but who would read a diatribe like that?
If you doubt any of this then do my my job for one day and you will see all of these things before morning tea. Trust me.

Hasta Winnebago, The Tow Truck Guy.

Equal Rights For Tow Truck Drivers!!

It seems that we tow truck drivers are missing out on the equality stakes. We are the only truck drivers in Queensland that are REQUIRED to work a twelve hour day. We are also the only truck drivers that receive an hourly rate that is UNDER the award wage. There is something drastically wrong here.

I shall clarify.....

I am out of bed at 5am, in the truck and logged on at 6:45am. I then work an unspecified number of hours, usually 7 or more, then have an unpaid half hour break. Then work until 7pm when I log off, hopefully at the base by then, if not, I have to get back to base sometimes up to a half hour late then log off and go home. I usually get home around 7:30pm unless I'm late logging off.
In that day I can do anything between 200 to 300 kilometers around Brisbane. I know that after 8 hours behind the wheel my concentration levels plummet. After 3 o'clock I have more close calls, near hits and plain bonehead mistakes than at any other time during the day.

Something has to be done about this. Now I don't know about you, but I really don't want some tired old bogan in 7 tonnes of tow truck barrelling around the streets of Brisbane while they're half asleep. It's just plain stupid when they can easily run two 8 hour shifts per day instead of having some guys working 10am untill 10pm and others working 6am untill 6pm. They could run one shift from 6am untill 2pm another from 2pm until 10pm. It's not rocket science.

And what's with the under award wage?? We are getting ripped off. If you look at what other truck drivers of the same size get, we should be on around $23.00 per hour not $18.00.

Having said all that, the companies are not interested in looking after their workers, it's all about the bottom line. How do they sleep easily knowing that they are working their drivers to death, or nervous breakdowns. I can't even afford the deposit on a cheap house, but my boss just bought a new one didn't he, and it isn't a cheap one either.

How about saving the sanity of the poor tow tow truck drivers people?? Maybe when one of us snaps and takes your car and tips it into the Brisbane River, huh? Maybe then people will take notice of us??

Oh well. That's my rant for today. Maybe I should approach the Union? Oh, that's right, I forgot! The Union is a powerless bunch of corrupt assholes more interested in protecting their own power base, than looking after the workers they're supposed to represent. What a load of crap!

See you 'round like a doughnut.

The Tow Truck Guy.

What The F#@K!!!

In a service station up near Redcliffe I saw this interesting vehicle.............

Does this mean it's a mobile surgery? And what do they mean by 'Satisfaction Guaranteed'?

"Mate, I guarantee I'll feel real satisfied once I've removed all your organs. You'll be lying in a bathtub full of ice in a seedy motel bathroom, but I'll be satified."

Until next time. Check ya' later.
The Tow Truck Guy

How's your car?

It never ceases to amaze me at the amount of people that don't maintain their cars properly. I mean, how hard is it to check the tyre pressure or even have a quick look to see if you actually have any tread left on them. The number of cars that I tow in Brisbane with bald tyres is quite astonishing. I'm not just talking low on tread or even heavily worn, these are cars with smooth rubber and sometimes the steel belt is hanging out. I know because when I go to strap the car down, I spike myself in the hand with them.

Also, just a little note to people that are going to have their car towed. Spray a little disinfectant around inside it. Seriously. I'm getting really tired of towing stinky cars. That means you Mr. and Mrs. Bee Ohh.

And on that note I will bid you adieu.

The Tow Truck Guy.

I love holidays!

Well, Easter is over for another year. I had six days off and man, was it relaxing. I revelled in doing stuff-all the whole time. I did do a little skateboarding and worked on my wifes' dirt bike, but apart from that...., nothing!
It might sound strange to some people (my wife included), that I can veg-out like that but when you work the hours I do, sitting around staring at the walls can be quite attractive at times.
Now it's over and I'm back at work I can appreciate that I should have done a little more on my break. oh well, what's done is done and as much as we would sometimes like to go back and do-over, we can't and just have to accept it. Ahhh, hindsight is a wonderful thing.

That's all folks. The Tow Truck Guy.

The Wacked Out Wednesday Tow List.

Hump-day for most, the last day of the work week for me. Woohoo!
This was a very un-typically quiet day, with only five cars towed for me.

1980 Mercedes-Benz 450SL
2006 Kia Rio
1994 Nissan Pulsar
1997 Ford Fairmont
1994 Toyota Corolla

And that's the lot.

So now to the analysis..............
There is one clear pattern that emerged from this excersize. I really hate to state the obvious but some of you might have missed it.

DON'T DRIVE CARS! BUY A MOTORBIKE!

You want to help the environment, ease traffic congestion, make for easier parking in the cities? We should all be on motorbikes.

And that's all I'm going to say on the matter.
Catch you on the flip-flop. The Tow Truck Guy.

Tuesday Towings

A typical Tuesday saw the usual smattering of cars towed........

2000 Peugeot 206
1999 Holden Barina
2005 Mercedes-Benz A170
1977 Jaguar XJS V12
1998 Toyota Tarago
1994 Mitsubishi Magna
1976 VW Kombi
1990 Mitsubishi Magna

A fairly average eight car day but again, no real pattern there.
I wonder what the last day will hold.

See you then. The Tow Truck Guy.

What got towed on Monday.............

Monday is always busy for the whole fleet, although I try to stick to my ideal of "If you pay me $15 per hour, that's exactly how much work I will do".
Well here is the list.........

Daewoo Nubira 2001
Mazda Tribute 2007
Suzuki Swift 1989
Toyota Landcruiser 1989
Toyota Corolla 1996
Ford Falcon 1995
Hyundai Excel 1995
Holden Vectra 2002
Mitsubishi Magna 1997
Holden Commodore 2007

Just a mish-mash of makes and models, nothing really definative at all.
I'm hoping that by the end of the week a pattern will emerge, but maybe five days isn't enough time to form an understanding of an inanimate mechanical object.
Time will tell.

See ya' where the grass is greener. The Tow Truck Guy.

What gets towed continued...........

And now for the Sunday tow list......

Mini Cooper S 2008
Toyota Camry 1992
Chrysler Neon 1996
Landrover Discovery 1996
Holden Commodore 2000
Landrover Discovery 2008

Sunday is always a slow one, so only six cars
and no real pattern emerging yet.
Still, there's three more days in the week,
maybe something will show up later.

Until next time, The Tow Truck Guy.

What gets towed??

I thought that an interesting way to answer a question I get asked alot, would be to list the cars that I tow each day for a week.

Since my work week starts on Saturday, that's where we will begin......

2006 Ford Courier Utility
1998 VW Golf Hatch
2003 VW Golf Hatch
1988 Mercedes Benz 560 Convertible
2004 VW Golf Hatch
1971 Ford Fairmont Sedan
1997 Toyota Corolla Sedan
1970 Lincoln Mecury Cougar Coupe

And that's it. Not a good day for VW Golf drivers.

Aloha from the Tow Truck Guy.

While I was driving.........

I remembered something from when I was a kid today. Just a funny little something that popped into my head. It goes.... Little Jack Horner sat in the corner, eating his pudding and pie. He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a semi-trailer and said, "F*ck me! I could have choked on that!"
So I thought of a new one. It goes...... Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? No sir, no sir, I'm a bloody Poodle.

Going through Brisbane CBD I could hear the church bells ringing out their tune. It all sounded very pretty but it made me think of the Monty Python skit about the Church bells. Now I'm getting this from my brain so if it's not verbatim you can chalk it up to a faulty memory.

Man: I wish those bells would be quiet.
Woman: It's quite nice dear. It's Sunday.
Man: Why should us Athiests have to put up with it?
Woman: You're a lapsed Athiest dear.
Man: The principle's the same. Bleedin' C of E. The Mohamadins don't come round here waving bells at us. We don't have Hindus harmonising in the hall or Shintoists shattering sheetglass in the shithouse and shouting slogans.
Woman: Alright. Don't practice your aliteration on me.
Man: Anyway. When I get my blazer badge and member card from the League of Agnostics I shall urge the executive to lodge a protest about those bells. Pass the butter knife. If only we had some kind of missile.

That's all for now.

Catch you on the flip side. The Tow Truck Guy.

What a bloody Unit.

Well, talk about annoying. I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds the guys from Unit to be a pair of a*holes. Unfortunately, every time I've had the misfortune of talking to these guys they have managed to totally rub me the wrong way. Now I'm usually a level headed kind of guy, not given to random outbursts of emotion but they REALLY p*ss me off.

I think I have discovered the reason. They are a satanic cult. Seriously! I think they sold their souls to Satan for the chance to be wealthy. Their bodies have been taken over by a couple of lesser Demons and now they just go around p*ssing people off. Don't believe me?? Just look at the logo.

It's a Pentacle, isn't it. The sign of the Devil Himself. And if that's not evidence enough check out all the cars with Unit stickers on them. They have all been recruited into this bunch of Units.

Oh, and if they don't like me using their logo on my blog they can go blow a goat. I always have the last word!

Sayonara. The Tow Truck Guy.

VNHDERNSAYWD

Financial Advice.

A Wednesday for me means the last day of the week. I look forward to my days off like never before. I have never had a job where, at the end of five days I feel like death warmed up. I sincerely hope I get a better job offer or, they increase my hourly rate and decrease my hours. HAH, what a joke, like any of that's going to happen.

I did meet an interesting person today, A financial advisor. If I had some finances I would now be able get advice on how not to spend it. I had a wealthy friend who once told me never to spend my own money, "Always spend someone elses money, never your own", he said. At the time I had no money of my own so I thought that was pretty good advice. I promptly replied, "That sounds good, lend me fifty bucks then".

I actually do like my job, I just hate the long hours and low pay. I get to meet a pile of interesting people from all over the planet and learn about them. Where they're from, what they do, etc. Basically a life story in a fifteen minute truck ride. Like the Spaniard who was raised in France and now lives here in Australia because it's a nice safe place. I learned something from a gentleman from the United Arab Emirates that I will share with you. The Australian made Holden Statesman is about thirty thousand dollars more expensive in Australia. Now that's messed up.

Well that's about all of my attention span used up, but I will leave you with an image I took at seven thirty this morning. It's the view from my office window.

Ciao, The Tow Truck Guy.

To kick it off.

What can a Tow Truck Driver possibly have to say?

I ask myself the same question every day. Fortunately I am not always and have not always been, a tow truck driver. I have alot to say and feel that everyone is entitled to my opinion. The question that remains is whether anyone is really interested in anything I have to say. Time will tell.

Today is Monday. Not a real good day for observations as it is a very hectic time of the week. My work week starts on Saturday and goes through to Wednesday so Monday is actually my hump day. I travel approximately 200 kilometers driving around brisbane on any given day, so i see a whole heap of wierd, wonderful and sometimes freakish stuff.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have or just leave a comment. I love a good roasting too so go ahead and flame me if that is your desire. (You will anyway, with or without my permission).

I hope I can achieve some of my goals for this blog, one of which is not to turn it into a ranting page about the somewhat bizarre and ofttimes stupid behaviour of the Quensland branch of Idiot Drivers Inc. I'll also try not to burn your eyes with the vitriol I feel for the Lycra Clad Loosers on Bicycles Club. Even though I wish they would all just ride off a very high cliff somewhere far away.

That's about all for this introductory post. A little scattered, sorry, but still coherent I think.

Cop you later, The Tow Truck Guy.